When Tragedy Strikes the Second Time

So now I'm speechless. I don't know where to start...

There are so many things going on my mind. First of all, I lost another baby which I was not aware that I already have one living inside my tummy. Second, I don't know the reason why I lost her. Was it because of stress? Because my sister-in-law got me so angry plus our helper that causes me to be stressed for the reason that she is not so good in following orders. Was it because I slipped the other week? But the bleeding occurred 5 days after. Was it because of fatigue? But all I do in the office is sit in front of my computer and just type and click.

Whatever the reason might be, the bottom line I already lost my baby and cannot bring him/her back.

After the medical procedure was done, I was brought to the recovery room. I woke up a couple of times but can only say a few words then dozed off again. I remember one dream. That my first baby, who was in reality supposed to be a month old, was already about 4 years old was taking care of her sibling, who was in a baby blanket, in heaven. It makes me cry every time this dream crosses my mind.

God knows how I love and adore babies but I can't even have one of my own. Maybe, its just not yet the right time. I understand that God has a plan for me. I don't question that. It's just that the fact still remains that it saddens me and it breaks my heart to think that I lost both of them.

The "Perfect" Advice

An advice that I gave to some of my friends who are still bitter with their past relationship and even the current girlfriend is being involved.

Keep your friends close and your enemy closer.

I am not saying this to be able to create a perfect plan to sabotage their relationship. This is just to look for some flaws and prove to yourself (just to yourself and not your x) that you are better and not feel too bad about your self.

If you think that she is really better and can't make a comparison where you will win, then just tell yourself "Haaay... ang perfect mo nmn... sana mapunta ka na sa perfect world" LOL! (Translation: You are so perfect... I hope you'll soon reach the perfect world (heaven)"